American Idol's Oldest Contestant Elise Testone, 28, Is Sent Back To South Carolina

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 27 April 2012

HOLLYWOOD - Woody The Wonder Woodchuck correctly picked that Elise Testone would be the next singer eliminated from American Idol and his 2012 record now stands at 5-2.

Elise "Estrogen" Testone was this year's oldest contestant and she was actually 12-years-old and in the sixth grade when American Idol's youngest singer Jessica Sanchez, who is 16, was born.

Testone, who a few weeks ago brought the house down with her rendition of Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love," fell short this week when she sang the Queen song "The Ballad of The Queen of Hearts In Search of Her King of Diamonds."

Randy "The Dawg" Jackson remarked that the song started off kind of weak, got a little weaker in the middle, and finally picked up right before the last two notes.

Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez stated that Testone should have listened to American Idol mentor Jimmy "The Cap" Iovine and worn a much shorter skirt.

And Steven "Lips" Tyler noted that Elise confused a lot of the viewing voters with her very unusual first name. He said that it is too bad that her name was not something a little easier to remember such as Ellen, Elizabeth, Emily, or even Penelope.

The shows producer Bernadette Penderlicki pointed out that part of the reason why Testone was eliminated was also due to the fact that lots of voters shied away from her due to her last name which many associated with Testosterone.

Penderlicki quipped that it was too bad that Elise's last name was not Turner, Taylor, Thomas, or even Pickington.

This week found Hollie "Little Dolly" Cavanaugh and Skylar "Country Gal" Laine also in the Bottom Three.

Hollie sang a song that had been written by John Philip Sousa titled, "The March of The Ruggedly Ragged Rough Riders" and Skylar sang an old Buck Owens ballad titled, "I Met Her In The Cornfield of My Youth And Lost Her In The Watermelon Patch of My Yonder Years."

American Idol host Ryan Seacrest explained that the reason that the camera accidentally caught his girlfriend Julianne Hough kissing his tongue at the right of the stage was because he had bit it while announcing Phillip Phillips and she was just trying to make it all better.

SIDENOTE: Next week the remaining five contestants will be singing the songs from the Titanic soundtrack.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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