Jessica Simpson Finally Has Her Baby - And It's A Big One!

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

image for Jessica Simpson Finally Has Her Baby - And It's A Big One!
Jessica said that her sister Ashlee gave her a box of Daisy Duke baby diapers for her baby girl. (Photo by Ashton Kutcher).

LOS ANGELES - Well it appears that Jessica Simpson may have broken the record for being pregnant for the longest time.

She finally 'popped' out her little baby which is actually one heck of a whopper at 9 pounds 13 ounces on May 1, 2012.

One of the nurses at L.A.'s Our Lady of The Silver Screen Hospital jokingly remarked that the baby was born with a full mouth of teeth, socks, ear phones, and a cell phone.

Dr. Ashwani Raheem Mumbidabad, Jr., who delivered the baby said that about three minutes after the baby was born it amazingly said the word "Hi."

A close friend of Jessica's, Claudine "Dimples" Dipquist, who was videotaping the birth verified that the baby, who was named Maxwell House Drew Simpson-Johnson did in fact say "Hi."

Jessica was asked by Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk where the baby's unusual name came from.

The singer/actress, who was still a little dazed and was trying to keep from screaming due to the tremendous stretching that her hoohah had just experienced, said that that the name Maxwell House came from her fiancé Eric Johnson's favorite brand of coffee.

She grinned and added that the name Drew was picked in honor of her first husband Nick Lachey's brother Drew Lachey.

Simpson informed Miss Chipotle that they plan to call their brand new addition Max for short or Maxwell House for long.

FOOTNOTE: Jessica pointed out that she hopes that little Maxwell House Drew Simpson-Johnson grows up to be a singer. She did promise that unlike her, her sister Ashlee, and Britney Spears, her little Max will not be allowed to lip sync.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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