Frock and Roll printing error causes misery in Newcastle

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

image for Frock and Roll printing error causes misery in Newcastle
Guitarist Richie Sambora looked stunning.

Bon Jovi's UK tour hit a snag when it rolled into Newcastle last week after the posters for the tour contained a slight spelling error.

Instead of A Night Of Rock and Roll with Bon Jovi the posters actually read A Night of Frock and Roll with Bon Jovi.

"We had seventy thousand people turn up for the gig at the Gateshead Arena," said tour manager, Misty Ping. "Every last one of them was in a dress."

This state of affairs was not a massive problem for the majority of the crowd, as Bon Jovi's target audience is still women. Some women who move also attended, and were not unduly worried by the suggested dress code. The fifteen thousand men in the audience were another matter.

"I don't know if Bon Jovi's male fans are typical," said Ping. "But they do not look good in a frock."

According to mobile phone video footage of the event, there were hairy tattooed arms on show through strappy summer frocks and wobbly beer bellies straining the fabric of tight jersey dresses. More knobbly knees festooned with hair than a Butlins Brochure were on show. And the men were worse.

Jon Bon Jovi felt so embarrassed for his fans over the typographical error on his posters that he, and the rest of the band, abandoned their tour wardrobe of white tee-shirts, leather vests and ripped jeans in favour of a Dior inspired wardrobe from a local department store.

"Rockers traditionally have long hair, and it made picking the men out of the crowd quite tricky," said Ping. "Jon looked good in his off the shoulder white number though. I'm not sure that it went with Doc Martins boots however. That's not a look that anybody can pull off."

Debbie Hamms, manager of the local department store was quite pleased with the new wardrobe though.

"It was great having Jon Bon Jovi and his band in the store," she said, blushing. "I helped them pick out some lovely frocks, and Richie Sambora finished his tight mini-skirt off with opaque stockings and a lovely wide belt. He's got a nice body."

Despite the unconventional attire, everybody loved the show.

"It were great," said Darren, a bricklayer from South Shields. "My wife don't want her dress back now, but to be honest, now I've tried it, I can understand what the Scots see in a pair of bare knees."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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