The Reason Why Ricky Gervais Turned Down Simon Cowell's Generous Offer To Be A Judge On X-Factor

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 26 March 2012


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Ricky Gervais has turned down $15 million to be a judge on X-Factor. (Photo courtesy of Oprah Winfrey).

LOS ANGELES - Now that Simon Cowell has filled one of the two available judges positions on X-Factor with Britney Spears, the entertainment world is wondering who he will select to take the second vacant judges chair.

Names that have been tossed around include Lady Gaga, Sir Paul McCartney, Demi Lovato, Chaz Bono, and Sarah Palin, yes the same GOPalin who is known as "Snowflake," "Reindeer Hormones," "Snow Plow," "Old Crosshairs," and "Caribou Ovaries" just to name a few of her political nicknames.

Pido de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight recently spoke with Ricky Gervais, the British comic and was surprised to learn that Simon "The Duke of Disdain" had offered Gervais the opportunity to be an X-Factor judge.

Gervais, who is known as "Jaws" because of the configuration of his teeth told de Gallo that he decided to turn down the $15 million offer.

When asked by the 3T reporter why, "Jaws" Gervais started giggling uncontrollably. He finally gained his composure after taking three gulps from his glass of beer.

He grinned and stated that the reason why he refused to be a judge on the highly rated X-Factor was because, as everyone knows, he can be one extremely cruel, heartless, bitter, mean-spirited son-of-a-gun.

And Mr. Gervais knows that with his devil-be-damned personality he would have ended up eventually making every X-Factor contestant cry; including the males.

De Gallo pointed out that the $15 million could have perhaps caused him to ease back a bit. Gervais laughed and remarked, "Do tell me SeƱor de Gallo, can one hold back the waters of Niagara Falls? Can one prevent the Sahara Desert from being hot as hell? and can one keep John Boehner, Glenn Beck, and Brett Favre from crying crocodile tears every time they talk?

"I Gotcha mate!" de Gallo replied.

And so the search for the judge to replace Nicole "Teardrops" Scherzinger continues. Simon Cowell has asked that any famous celebrities from either the United States or merry olde England who want to apply for the $15 million a year job can simply go in and apply at

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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