Paula Abdul Is Still Furious At Being Fired By Simon Cowell From X-Factor and Plans To Reveal Some Salacious Secrets About 'Simple' Simon

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 25 February 2012

image for Paula Abdul Is Still Furious At Being Fired By Simon Cowell From X-Factor and Plans To Reveal Some Salacious Secrets About 'Simple' Simon
Paula Abdul (center) shown during her Los Angles Laker Girl days. (Photo by Jack Nicholson).

HOLLYWOOD - Just four weeks ago the entertainment world witnessed what one news agency termed The X-Factor Massacre.

British mogul and CEO of Buckingham House Productions Simon Cowell decided to go in an other direction with his hit show X-Factor and he fired the two female judges Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger.

He also terminated the shows host Steve Jones. Cowell recently stated that he did what he had to do in order to help the ratings of his show improve.

Cowell, who is known by a dozen or so nicknames including the "Count of Cruelty," stated that he fired Nicole because the girl just cried way to damn much.

He said he let Steve go because he was merely nothing more than a robot with nice looking hair who due to his heavy Welsh accent was hard for many American viewers to understand.

And the "Viceroy of Venom" added that he fired Paula because she did not pay attention to his request for her to stop reaching underneath the judges table during the commercial breaks and tapping him playfully on his right thigh.

"Mr. T-Shirt" stated that it got to where he felt like he was a snare drum and Abdul was Charlie Watts, the drummer for the Rolling Stones.

Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres reporter Tahiti Zeppelin recently spoke with Simon Cowell at a The Sheriff of Nottingham Restaurant in Beverly Hills.

She asked about the alleged reports which had appeared in TV ClickerWorld about Paula Abdul being so angry at him that she is planning on revealing some salacious secrets about him.

Cowell giggled as he took a sip of his Yaka Hula Hickey Dula Tropical Cocktail. The man who owns a $1 million Bugatti Veyron said that Ms. Abdul knows better than to make threats like that because if she dares to reveal anything about him of a personally intimate nature he will see to it that she never again works in the entertainment business.

Cowell took two more sips from his Hawaiian drink and added that if pixie little Paula messes with him she won't even be able to get a job picking up animal droppings at The Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo in Tarzana.

Miss Zeppelin was able to contact Ms. Abdul and pass on Simon's message. Abdul simply laughed and said that she has contacted attorney Ginger Allred, who is the cousin of noted attorney Gloria Allred, and she is still planning on revealing some juicy secrets about Mr. Cowell

The former L.A. Laker Girl, choreographer, and singer went on to say that according to her accountant, Caruso "Numbers" Danderhausen, she is worth about $30 million so she is not worried about having to go to the unemployment office.

Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres will stay with the Paula Abdul story and bring you any further developments as they develop.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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