France Loses AAA Rating

Funny story written by churchmouse

Monday, 16 January 2012

image for France Loses AAA Rating
It's feared that some parts of Europe aren't coloured in properly

Following the announcement that France's triple A rating has been downgraded to Double A plus status by rating agency Standard & Poors, which has had the effect of increasing French government borrowing costs by 0.25%, there has been much discussion throughout the country regarding the consequences of the action.

Practically every French politician, and much of the bourgeoisie are deeply dismayed by what has happened. And most have been trying to pass the blame onto others.

President Sarkosy was reported as saying: "This is a great blow to the status and standing of France, and although I'm not personally responsible for this disaster, it has still left a deep scar on my ego."

Others have echoed the President's thoughts:

Guy Devalucart, a senior manager of SNCF - the state owned railway company, said:
"C'est terrible, the blow to our image is incalculable. Should I throw a cocktail party for my friends, and be stood next to an Anglo-Saxon I wouldn't be able to look them in the eye. Fortunately, I don't have any Anglo-Saxon friends, and if I did I wouldn't invite them to any of my parties, so it's a bit irrelevant, but you get my point."

Andre Noblesse, a farmer from the small village of Fromage-sur-Pain in the Loire Valley, also has his worries.

"Last month a bag of feed for my donkey cost 34 euros, and now it's somewhere between 33 and 35 euros." he said.

"My wife and I are beside ourselves. We were thinking of asking for a loan to build a new pig-sty behind the barn, but if we borrow the money from the IMF it'll cost us more in interest, so we'll have to ask our local bank for the loan as we planned to do in the first place."

And Pierre Domestos, a Parisian taxi driver had this to say:
"My wife, Odette and I were planning to have a new bathroom suite installed. Last week when France still had its triple A rating, the local plumber said that he'd be round on Thursday. But now he says that he won't be able to start till Friday morning because he has a dental appointment. I simply don't know where it's all going to end."

Not everyone however was downbeat. Somewhat surprisingly the traders on France's stock exchange, the CAC40 were quite bullish. A senior partner in a firm of traders told us:

"C'est manifique. whenever there's a change in the interest rates we can move money around between countries and make a profit. We've known for weeks that this was coming, and so everyone here has done well out of it. That's the thing about banking, it's global! n'est par."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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