GM Stock Tanks; Obama Plans Fire Sale of Stock Prior to Election; Blames Henry Ford and Ipad!

Funny story written by Morse

Tuesday, 19 April 2011


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Stock Tanks, Cars Crash, Obama Bails On GM; Taxpayers Lose Again!

President by Default, Barry Obama, continued his losing streak with the announcement he would be stepping down as CEO of Government Motors (GM) after the stock started to crater dropping 10% below it's initial IPO just months ago.

Insiders say the President, with input from Jesse Jackson, Jr., blames the Ipad for spreading the news on continuing problems with GM cars, and Henry Ford, founder of Ford Motor Company, for instilling GM's competitor with a better work ethic, innovative ideas, and a sound business plan, even though he, shockingly, never went to Harvard!

Coming as no surprise to astute students of business, and the ineptness of Government to run ANYTHING, the fire sale will only add additional losses to be made up by the American Taxpayer.

With Obama forcing the takeover of the iconic car manufacturer, causing the loss of millions of dollars in equity owned by retired share holders, bond holders, and thousands of suppliers who never got paid, he touted himself as the next coming of Warren Buffett, while savvy investors like Donald Trump called him the King of Bull Shit with the only thing he could sell was the idea of "Food Stamps."

"The only people who benefited in this deal,' said Wall Street Observer Wally Wordsmithe, "was the unions who kept all their pensions intact and had the taxpayer on the hook for them."

Wordsmithe cited the little known fact that once bankruptcy was filled, the slate was wiped clean, and the company had to start again into profitability on a clean slate.

Defying all business logic, GM was granted Bankruptcy Protection, thereby wiping out all their investors and creditors, but was granted the unheard of special deal of being able to claim 'losses' as tax deductions for the next twenty years insuring they would never have to pay taxes, if by some fluke they were able to turn a profit! This closed door corrupt deal also enabled the Union Controlled company to then turn around, with the prospect of no tax liability for 2010, to then take what should have been a return to the American Taxpayer of earnings, and grant 50% bonus checks to their membership!

And people wonder why Bernie Madoff sits in jail all by himself!

Said Wordsmithe, "these politicians have no interest, no aptitude, and no experience in how to run a profitable's not their money, they have no risk invested, it's all about politics and buying votes....that's why Obama is more than willing to have the American Taxpayer take another hit on the stock sale so he can bail out, claim he "saved" GM....all in time for the 2012 elections!"

The Chinese government, who unwisely bought a large percentage of the initial stock offering, is now demanding a thorough investigation of Obama's reign at GM. The Chevy Volt is killing people trapped in blizzards when batteries fail and they freeze, houses are burning down during overnight recharging, and in the latest scandal, steering wheels are falling off at speed on yet another Obama designed product.

"Right now, " said a perceptive Wordsmithe, "If I was Bo, the White House dog, I wouldn't be eating any of that imported Chinese dog food Michelle insists on buying to save money! And I wouldn't bet on that silicone she's been using for butt injections either....them Chinese...devious BASTARDS....they always get even, I don't think Obama's Lucky Numbers are going to be 11 6 2012!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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