McDonalds to absorb Viacom

Funny story written by lukesams6

Monday, 24 January 2011

OAK BROOK, IL. - In a shocking announcement, McDonald's was pleased today to announce that it had acquired Viacom for $62.99 and as a result, Viacom will be absorbed into McDonald's. In addition to this, Viacom International announced that as of January 24, 2011, it will officially change its name to "McDonald's Media International".

Jim Skinner, President and CEO of McDonald's said that they will "branch out into media and ventures for the first time ever." Also, MTV Networks said it will change its name today to "McDonald's Networks" to mark the occasion. BET Networks also changed its name to "BET/McDonald's Networks" and Paramount Motion Pictures Group changed theirs to "McDonald's and Paramount Motion Pictures Group". The assets that Viacom, Viacom International, MTV Networks, BET Networks, and the Paramount Motion Pictures Group previously owned will now belong to McDonald's, McDonald's Media International, McDonald's Networks, McDonald's/BET Networks, and the McDonald's and Paramount Motion Pictures Group.

Viacom Consumer Products and MTVN Direct also heralded a new era by changing their names to "McDonald's Consumer Products" and "McDN Direct with MTV". Also, McDonald's CMO Mary Dillon said, "Now that we have absorbed Viacom and bought their partners that changed names, we are starting to be lovin' it even more."

Jim Skinner added that "in addition with McDonald's absorbing Viacom, we will handle control of Viacom's assets, such as Paramount, MTV, Networks, Nickelodeon, Nick Jr., TeenNick, Nick at Nite, Nicktoons, Neopets, and so forth. Also, in addition to this, we will celebrate by having a party at our headquarters which will be dedicated to absorbing Viacom, which happened today".

Mary Dillon explained "Wow! That was so cool! I never knew we had absorbed Viacom. It was so great. Thanks!" Jim Skinner added "You're welcome! I will see you anytime if you please."

After the party, they all said, "i'm lovin' it" (which is the tagline that has been used in commercials for McDonald's since September 2003). It was a momentous day for all of McDonald's and a historic day for Viacom and their partners.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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