Bastard Airways offers Spoof writers air miles for points

Written by Noshing Mink

Saturday, 14 August 2010

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Sexy Mylee could be yours for just 100,000 points

Strike-ridden airline Bastard Airways, in an effort to win back disillusioned customers, has offered free air miles to Spoof writers who want to cash in some of their spoof points.

Writers get points according to how many people read their articles, though the exact formula for the distribution of points is a closely guarded secret.

Bastard CEO Wally Walsh said "Spoof writers are just the sort of people we want to attract. They like to poke fun at other people. We want them flying on our planes and keeping the pesky stewards in check with their sharp wit and dry sarcasm."

Spoof writers will be issued with a Spoof air miles card, which will allow them to cash in 1,000 points and get a free soft drink in participating airports. They will also be allowed to cash in 40,000 points for a free return flight between Europe and the United States (cargo class). Spoof writers who have earned 100,000 points will get to have sex with a stewardess and join the Mile High Club.

Up till now, Spoof points meant absolutely nothing in the real world. However, on hearing the news, already prolific comic writer Monkey Woods was reported to have given up his job in order to concentrate on writing full-time for the website.

Meanwhile, BA union Unite condemned the plan, saying "What a load of bollocks this is".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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