Given the potential portents of venturing out on Friday the 13th, one unnamed accident prone writer for satirical website theSpoof.com has announced that he is taking no chances over the great Winchester meeting scheduled for portentous Friday the 13th.
Speaking from his home - a converted VW van parked off the beaten track in secluded woodland - the writer told our man that although the last get together with fellow Spoofers had been great fun, it climaxed with a trip to the hospital and a night spent on the dark dangerous streets around London Waterloo station.
The writer said that such an occurrence would not be occurring in Winchester, as he has been undergoing a rigorous training schedule with the objective of emerging unscathed this time.
"I've been brushing up on me drinking," he said. "Pacing meself like. I shan't be guzzling like the clappers this time - slow and steady, that's the ticket. I've also got a steel splint for me damaged thumb, and a motorcycle helmet, so I should be relatively safe in a slip/trip/fall scenario. As long as I don't fall onto the railway lines in front of a train, or something. I've also been practising lamp post avoidance techniques under the tutelage of a former SAS man, and it's coming along quite well. There's some shops not far away with lamp posts, sign posts, litter bins and assorted street furniture where I practice daily. I've only fallen over twice so far in a month of training."
A spokesperson for Hampshire Police told us that the spoofers would be most welcome in Winchester providing they don't get too excitable and start one-star banditing stuff like the historic cathedral. He stressed that flaming would not be tolerated, but pie consumption would be perfectly acceptable.
The unnamed Spoof writer refused to comment any further as he had to go cutting wood for his camp fire as he had a hedgehog wrapped in damp clay to roast in the embers for dinner.
More as we get it.
