Mexican food chain to Start Selling Lower Grade Beef, Somehow

Written by Nick Fudala

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

image for Mexican food chain to Start Selling Lower Grade Beef, Somehow
Typical customers will not likely notice any change in flavor, experts say.

IRVINE, CA - Mexican food chain Baco Tell announced an agreement today with a beef processors to begin selling a beef that is somehow of lower quality than what is currently offered at the restaurant chain. The deal was promoted as an effort to continue providing low prices to customers during current times of financial instability.

"We feel that the difference in taste will be negligible," said spokesman Mel Sandberg, "and we will be able to continue serving our food at dirt cheap prices."

When asked to describe the differences between the meat currently served and the lower quality beef that will be introduced next month, Mr. Sandberg would only comment that the composition of feed given to the cattle had been altered, allowing for lower production costs and, as a result, lower grade meat.

Pressed for specifics as to the composition of the feed, Mr. Sandberg described it as "dirt."

"The cattle that we will be purchasing are fed dirt," Mr. Sandberg reiterated, "Formerly the cattle we purchased consumed a feed composed of animal carcasses, grain, and dirt. Now they will just eat dirt."

Questions over whether the taste will truly not change were posed to leading food research scientists who supported the claim that taste will not change from their usual offerings.

"No, I don't believe the average consumer will notice the difference, "said Lindsey Gallagher of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, "Their beef has already consistently been described as newspaper- or dirt-like. The addition of more dirt will not affect the flavor. Dirt tastes like dirt, no matter how much you have."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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