Written by Bureau

Monday, 21 September 2009

image for Acme Margarine Bowl Hospitalized After Being Beaten By Gang Leader It Called A "Nutter"
Never Leave Margarine, Butter In Hot Car

The Acme Margarine Bowl, world famous for telling everyone that it is actually "Butter", has been hospitalized in Louisville, Kentucky after it was beaten nearly to death by a gang of young rogues.

"It was a sorry sight for me eyes", stated Emergency Room attendant Tabish McTabish who is usually one of the first to see anyone brought into the hospital.

"It had it's innards running down the side...on the left as ye look at it from the label side."

"We did all we could in triage", stated a Doctor Parkay. "But someone had actually put their cigarettes out inside it's contents over and over again. The smell was horrible. I won't want Mrs. Parkay to use butter on our fish this evening."

"Yes, it's the smell from the poor lad that stays with you", stated Nurse Ratchet. "I nearly heaved when they brought it back for us to work on."

All agreed that despite all it's injuries, the Margarine Bowl was in pretty good spirits during an oleo infusion. "It was still able to talk, but not very well. I hope they lock that gang leader up and throw away the key", stated Ratchet.

Meanwhile, Ronnie Transfat told policemen that he was minding his own business, stealing a car, when the Margarine began calling him a "Nutter". "No one calls Ronnie Transfat a nutter and gets off easy."

In a hospital update, The Margarine Bowl is said to be resting easy and doctors now say that it had been trying to say "Butter" but it had suffered a warped lid while sitting in the hot car and could only lift one side of its lid.

Police released Transfat to his parole officer and reminded the public never to leave a bowl of margarine in a locked hot car with all the windows rolled up.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Advertising, butter

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