Written by The Blunt Pencil

Thursday, 23 April 2009

image for International Monetary Fund Puts Britain on eBay!
"Britain on course" says Darling!

Following a disastrous budget yesterday which will lead to total bankruptcy and civil war, the IMF lost patience with its biggest debtor and placed the entire assets and population of GB PLC on eBay.

The pathetic budget, delivered by the most incompetent tosser that ever crawled over Hadrian's Wall was so shite that the head of the IMF Jacques Shyt commented "what the fuck has he done"?

The Bank of England has expressed concern for the safety of Chancellor Darling and Prime Minister Gordon Brown, "We have had to employ a couple of bouncers to stand outside No10 & No11 Downing Street to fend off Nick Robinson" said Mervin King.

BBC correspondent Nick Robinson, as we all know, earns over 150K a year, smokes like a trooper, drinks like a fish and drives a 19Ltr Jaccametti gas guzzler stands to lose more than any other UK citizen under this new budget. In fact if you take into account his holiday home and pension contribution, Nick will owe the government 175 billion pounds in taxation for 2010 alone.

We tried to speak to Nick as he drove a white Tranny van packed with LPG gas bottles, Semtex and hundreds of bags of nails into the Palace of Westminster and parked outside the Chancellors Office. "Nick are you angry at all about having to pay off the gross national debt alone from your BBC salary" we asked, but he was too busy trying to dial some sort of code into his mobile phone to answer us!

So far, the eBay bidding for GB PLC has reached €29.50 though this was withdrawn latter when the bidder, an idiotic Frenchman, realised how much was outstanding on the UK's financial commitments.

The IMF have indicated that if they fail to secure a buyer by the end of April, they will have no alternative but to take GB PLC to a scrap yard and claim 2 grand against a new Renault Clio.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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