Islamisbad, Pakistan (IPP) - Taliban spokeman Itzkool Abdul announced today that the Taliban will be lending Wall Street $1.7 trillion dollars.
Abdul told reporters that the seven year conflict with the United States had been good for business and also had helped greatly in helping the Taliban meet its recruitment goals. He reminded Americans that their military-Industrial Complex had also enjoyed a steady year by year rise in funding. Abdul also said the the US and the rest of the western Military-Industrial Complex had almost suffered a collapse after the end of the cold war and the 9-11 attack had been good for business on both sides in spite of the body count. He joked that, "You have to break a few eggs to make an omelet".
Abdul spoke to reporters from the Taliban Motor Works (TMW) beautiful middle eastern automaker's 78 story skyscraper in bustling downtown Islamisbad. The Taliban had record sales last year of its 2008 Insurgency 2008 sports sedan. Seven Eleven Industries and Yellow Cab of the East also enjoyed blockbuster years and have been virtually unaffected by the woes of the Western World's financial meltdown.
"We are very happy to lend the infidels $1.7 Trillion and we hope this will help them keep their heads above water", said Abdul to the luncheon crowd gathered at TMW's massive auditorium. In the center of the crowd stood the 2009 Insurgency Sports Sedan model smartly painted in desert Camo colors. It looks like another good year ahead for the Taliban and their western counterparts.