Written by Warren Redlich

Friday, 1 February 2008


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Yahoo Counters: Offers $100 Billion for Microsoft
Yahoo offers some cash for Microsoft

Yahoo responded late Friday to Microsoft's $44 billion offer with a counter-offer. Yahoo proposes to buy a controlling share of Microsoft for $100 billion. The offer, which is for shares constituting 20.1% of Microsoft's floating stock, represents a 40% premium based on Microsoft's current share price.

Since Yahoo has only $2 billion in cash, most of the offer is actually being bankrolled by hedge funds. The behind-the-scenes leader is said to be Stephen Schwarzman of The Blackstone Group. Other players in the offer include Donald Trump and Maria Bartiromo.

Never shy of a camera, Trump actually held his own press conference announcing the offer. He said he's eager to get in a room with Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer, Microsoft's leaders, and hit them with his trademark line, "You're Fired." Shortly after the press conference, Trump learned that Gates bought everything in the Trump empire using the interest payments from one of his many accounts, and that Gates plans to rename all Trump properties "Shrimp."

Gates also responded to the offer from Yahoo in an afternoon interview, saying: "Microsoft will review the proposal and make sure they do what's in the best interest of the shareholders. Okay, just kidding. There's no way I'm selling to those chumps."

Despite the frenzy in the business media, internet searches for the day continued to be dominated by Rihanna's new sex video, Britney Spears' latest travails, and some guy named Ron Paul.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more