Gooks For Ron Paul

Funny story written by John P Slevin

Thursday, 31 January 2008

image for Gooks For Ron Paul
Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate who wants to end all military involvement in Iraq

Dr. Chung Ming, a Maryland physician has formed a new political action committee called Gooks For Ron Paul. The group was formed when the controversy over John McCain's repeated use of the term resurfaced.

The word is a racial slur directed at Asians.

Actually, McCain was quoted using the slur when talking to reporters during his 2000 presidential campaign. Recently, McCain has repeated his earlier assertions that he'll never apologize for using the term.

Dr. Ming insists that McCain might not want to apologize, but says "he'll regret using racial slurs and learn that is not the way to get elected to anything in this country. This moron has become a millionaire off public service. First we'll retire him and then we'll start looking into how he got all that money."

The committee intends to solicit contributions from all who find the term "gook" and other racial slurs to be offensive and Dr. Ming says "we'll make sure anyone who uses these terms cannot be elected to any office, anywhere.

If you think Swiftboat Veterans for Truth was big, you ain't seen nothing yet" continued Ming, referring to the group which many feel derailed John Kerry's presidential run by airing a large number of ads questioning his war record.

Ming pointed out that McCain has said many times that he doesn't care if US troops are in Iraq for 100 years and that Ron Paul is the only Republican presidential candidate who would call all troops home immediately. "Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate who has a sane foreign policy. McCain is just batshit crazy."

"There's a shitstorm coming McCain's way…he might have thought those Soviet MIG's were a problem…but he's gonna get taught a real lesson now" Ming said, adding "and it's not just Asians who are getting behind this thing. I've already talked to a man who is forming Spics for Ron Paul."

Before he's done, Ming says McCain will have to apologize and learn how to make a living out of public office "but not before Ron Paul kicks his racist, imperialist ass."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more