Written by Warren Redlich

Friday, 1 February 2008

image for John Edwards Jumps Back in Race
John Edwards going for gold.

John Edwards, who recently announced his withdrawal from the 2008 presidential race, announced this morning that he's back in. "Y'all have to let a guy change his mind every once in a while," quipped the 2004 VP candidate.

Edwards said he dropped out of the race because he had just gotten too tired and was disappointed with the results of the first few primaries and caucuses. After a couple days out of the race, many supporters persuaded him that there's room for losers too.

"Look at Ron Paul ..." noted Elizabeth Edwards, "that guy gets in the single digits but he keeps going."

Edwards stressed that his message is what's important: "Hillary and Barack are really the same person with the same message. I'm a different person and my message is almost different from theirs."

Responses from the other campaigns were mixed. Obama reacted with surprise, commenting: "I thought I already crushed that little boy." Hillary Clinton cackled hysterically and headed off to her Playboy photo shoot. Meanwhile, Dennis Kucinich could not be reached due to the swarm of media surrounding him. This reporter did manage to get to Ron Paul, who offered encouraging words: "John Edwards ... If he gets his head around the idea that the Constitution means something, he might get somewhere ... but those trial lawyers don't always get it."

The exit/entry strategy may be working. A Zogby poll shows Edwards leading in several states, though polls have been somewhat inaccurate in the 2008 election.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: John Edwards




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