Written by Jaggedone

Friday, 21 September 2018

image for Cheap airline offering "standing room only" unless you bring your own deckchair!
Cheap airline travellers think twice before jumping board; this is the alternative!!!

It seems the days of cheap and nasty flights are not quite over as one of its most infamous proponents is making every option an optional extra.

Passengers flying on 'Leprechaun Airways' will be charged for check-in (online or otherwise), hold luggage, cabin luggage and they'll even have to weigh their clothes and to be charged by the kilo.

If that wasn't shocking enough the cabin is to be stripped bare with nought but a cheap carpet and emergency strip lights underfoot.

Passengers can either stand (no lying down allowed) strapped to a wrist band dangling from the ceiling or, opt for the 'priority luxury option' - punters can bring their own camping chairs or deckchairs! But of course, this luxury will be charged and, the chairs only usable after take-off and before landing; security is a high priority on their flights, but it has to be paid for!

Air stewards and stewardesses will have to pay for their own uniform and, if they manage to flog any scratchcards (a seldom occurrence), the money will now fly into the chairman's pockets and not to charities!

So punters, passengers, and lovers of cheap-flights-for-a-fiver to Barcelona, si, si, no problema! But you might wish you paid a bit more after you land, are a physical wreck, discover you only have a toothbrush, used bog roll and, enter the airport stripped down to your undies! As for your deckchair, you have to unload it yourself or pay airport staff for the pleasure!

Jaggedone wishes you all a pleasant flight and a happy holiday!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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