Hatfield-McCoy Feud Reignited Over Breakfast Buffet

Funny story written by Catchthisdrift

Friday, 2 May 2014

image for Hatfield-McCoy Feud Reignited Over Breakfast Buffet
Cake donuts with sprinikles were also available on the buffet.

Catlettsburg, KY - After 125 years of peace, the legendary Hatfield-McCoy family feud was reignited yesterday at the Catlettsburg Day's Inn off Highway 60.

During the hotel's complimentary breakfast buffet, Davie Hatfield, the great-great-great-great grandson of Hatfield patriarch William Anderson "Devil Anse" Hatfield, reached for the final frozen waffle at the breakfast buffet. At the same time, Rupert McCoy, the great-great-great-great-great grandnephew of McCoy patriarch, Randolph McCoy, reached for the same waffle. Both men claim to have touched the waffle before the other. Davie Hatfield - according to Day's Inn employees - calmly said "Leggo my Eggo." Rupert McCoy replied to Hatfield, saying, "Excuse me, I believe I had this waffle first, I think you should leggo my Eggo." The interaction deteriorated quickly.

Ethel Merman, 52, of Catlettsburg, was staying at the Day's Inn for a wedding. She said that after the first relatively polite exchange, the two men began tugging on the waffle until it tore in two. Both men appeared visibly angered at the twaination of the waffle. Davie Hatfield grabbed a mini-muffin (it is believed to have been lemon-poppyseed) and hurled it at McCoy, who ducked to avoid the muffin and returned fire by throwing a bowl-full of soggy generic Fruit Loops at Hatfield. At this point the confrontation escalated into a frenzy of myriad tasty breakfast items arching across the Day's Inn lounge, which doubles as the dining room during the breakfast buffet.

The battle was eventually ended by Day's Inn "Breakfast Coordinator" Rynthia Chitterlings, who dumped a glass of icy water on each of the men.

The Day's Inn agreed to not call the police if each man agreed to help Ms. Chitterlings clean the floor, and then check-out of the hotel that same morning.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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