Oil dips below $50

Written by queen mudder

Monday, 5 January 2015

image for Oil dips below $50
Dips like this 60s cheese fondue

California - A kilo of Sonoma County Best macrobiotic organic lactose-free olive oil salad dressing has nudged $49.99 for the first time since the OPEC crudites crisis of '99.

In brisk trading on the Nasduck Monday the price of restaurant-grade avocado and blue cheese dips continued last week's bear run with chive-and-walnut cesar salad lagging just a few cents behind.

Knock-on effects were seen almost immediately in the guacamole futures market where extra virgin olive oil-based brunch dips where in short supply despite a global glut of non-virgin 'slag'.

Meanwhile an upcurving trend in dinnerparty nostalgia markets saw the price of cheese fondue dips soar from $0.50c to $40 as producers continued to cut corners to make a few bucks.

As we went to (olive) press this evening benchmark avocado and sesame crude was hovering at $49.95 before quickly rising back over $50.

That vindicates an earlier ShittyGroup forecast for 2015 global mayonnaise futures crashing in the New Year before US Strategic Reserve supplies flood the market.

The price of Gorgonzola and sunflower oil 20oz jars continue to freefall.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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