Ruling Authority to Re-Institute HUAC, Cites New "Red Scare"

Monday, 7 October 2013

In light of attempts to dismantle the United States government by "red district" congressmen and dangerous outside groups, the R.A. plans to bring back the House Un-American Activities Committee.

The earlier Committee, formed to investigate so-called "Red" incursions into American culture and government, fell out of favor after over-reaching its supposed mandate in the 1950s. Though Sen. Joe McCarthy (R - Wisconsin) was not a member of the committee, he became the public face of the effort to "out" the Reds and "McCarthyism" became the name of the overall ethos of the movement.

Now, recently formed radical groups have actually managed to halt effective governance in its tracks. Though they call themselves "conservatives", they are actually anything but conservative in their actions. Using misleading names like "FreedomWorks", the "Heritage Foundation", and "Americans for Prosperity", these corrosive institutions have managed to infiltrate the Congress to the extent that they have actually managed to shut the government down.

The new, improved HUAC will summon witnesses who will be forced under threat of perjury and contempt of Congress to name names and disclose their funding.

The ultra-rich Koch brothers are expected to be called to testify as to their participation in the conspiracy to overthrow the United States government. Also sure to be called is Rupert Murdock, a foreigner who directs the insidious Fock Snooze Corporation. He will have to explain false and deceptive propaganda being promulgated over U.S. airwaves.

"Tail-Gunner Joe" McCarthy look-alike (and sound-alike) Sen. Ted Cruz was disappointed when told that, rather than heading up the committee, he was to be a principal target of its investigations.

[Note: (And this is true.) This reporter was in grammar school in the 1950s. Every other year, we were given standardized tests, called the Iowa Tests. On the test was a statement for students to sign, a loyalty oath put there by HUAC. Our signatures affirmed that we ten-year-olds were not members of any organization dedicated to the overthrow of the United States. 'Nuf said?]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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