Written by Auntie Jean

Monday, 6 January 2014

image for Electronic turkeys on sale in Walmart stores to help quit Christmas dinners
Just like the real thing

Buying "just one more" turkey because you know you will quit next week or slipping another turkey into your grocery basket at the superstore?

Remarkably realistic electronic turkeys are now on sale to help with post-Christmas or Thanksgiving addiction issues.

The turkeys smell and look like the real thing, but have re-chargeable batteries inside the stuffing compartment. The turkeys have "hybrid" technology and can be powered by lead free gasoline in an emergency. The turkeys cannot currently be used on aircraft due to regulations regarding jet engine intake issues and large birds.

Operational modes include a cooking mode, gradually giving off delicious aromas of cooking turkey, an OMG I've burned the turkey! (recoverable) mode, a stale refrigerated cold turkey mode and a "damn! this thing stinks" rotten meat mode.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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