Boeing To Move To Bangladesh To Hire Sweatshop Workers

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Monday, 9 December 2013

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Seattle--- Recently nine billion in tax subsidies were voted by the state legislature in Washington State to give to Boeing Aircraft. It involves 787 tax breaks ands the largest subsidy ever given to a corporation by a state in the nation's history. It Starts this year and lasts through 2040.

One state legislator said of the subsidy, "We were on our knees crawling to get Boeing to stay in Seattle and keep providing thousands of jobs. That's why we kissed their ass with this humongous financial aid. It's nothing but corporate welfare."

This year Boeing achieved a12% jump in quarterly profits-amounting to 2.2 Billion dollars. Its union workers churned out more planes with high profit margins during the quarter.

With this background it would appear that Boeing's remaining in Seattle would be a certainty. But the fly in the ointment is a labor dispute between the business giant and the machinist union.

Last week, the union rejected Boeing's proposed eight-year contract extension, that would have cut pension and other benefits, in exchange for Boeing's commitment to build the planned 777X airliner and its advanced-technology wing in Washington State. Boeing threated the workers with massive job losses.

The deal pushed by Boeing would have stopped the further accrual of benefits for workers about to retire. It would also have increased out-of-pocket medical expenses and curtail coverage for current and retired employees. Overall, retirement benefits would have been gutted.

The agreement would have provided four one percent wage increases between 2016 and 2024, translating into a near-10 percent cut in real pay given the projected rate of inflation.

A Boeing spokesman stated that the company, because of the lack of contract agreement would re-locate its facilities to Bangladesh and build the 777X there.

"That will leave a minute, little Boeing footprint in Seattle and thousands of workers will be laid off. The machinist union just doesn't get it. This is an age of take-back contracts where the workers get screwed. They should have rolled over and taken it," she stated.

The Boeing representative also revealed that the Bangladeshi government had offered considerable subsidies for Boeing.

"Bangladesh will enable Boeing to great increase its 777X profits because the corrupt government discourages labor unions and does not enforce building codes and safety standards."

"We'll be able to lure sweatshop workers from their current jobs by offering a bit more pay. These employees will do the more menial tasks associated with our plant operation. They are used to facing the prospect of death or being maimed at work by dangerous machines, fires, and building collapse. So they will fit right in with our corporate ethos. They fit the profile of the kind of employee we desire."

"Of course they will work the usual 19 hour shifts that they are used to which will aid in Boeing's profit margin which is always our bottom line.

"The key to our success is the highly skilled employee such as engineers, technicians and machinists. Because of the unending depression in the United States, we expect that many workers there will come to Bangladesh," she said.

"Too, there will be unemployed engineers and technicians from Greece and other collapsing economies that will apply for positions. The low wage, no benefits jobs may not be what they want, but what choice do they have?"

The spokeswoman continued, "And the out of work Machinists in Seattle will be welcome, but not if they expect decent working conditions, retirement benefits, health care, good pay, to look forward to pay increases, lunch breaks or ready access to toilets. These things are associated with contracts negotiated by labor unions."

"Boeing might be accused of union busting and I'd have to say we're guilty. But let's not forget that Boeing operates out of America, where unregulated free enterprise is king and if unions are losing their power all over the country that's the way it goes. It's a values issue. Survival of the fittest is at the heart of what our country is about. Boeing is proud to say that we are a corporate family who embodies the moral principles that makes America the shining city on the hill. We in the Boeing Family are true American patriots," she concluded.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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