Junior designer makes her own prom dress

Written by Gee Pee

Monday, 24 June 2013


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

FISHWIFE, MI - Diane McTease, a high school student from the northern Michigan town of Fishwife, had a swell idea for a prom dress as she watched her sexy sex-ed teacher, Ms. Tew Cute, demonstrate the proper way to unroll a latex condom over a cucumber as a means of birth control, and of protecting vegans from sexually-transmitted diseases.

"I needed thousands of condoms, but our high school gives them away by the handful to promiscuous students. However, with the help of my friends, I soon had more than I needed, although I did have to wash and dry a few because they were, well, kind of yucky."

The teen told a local television station that it took "four weekends in a row" to collect the 10,000 condoms she used to make her dress.

"It was worth it, though," Diane said. The gown features a black condom "ball gown" skirt layered with white prophylactics.

She made the dress "on a dare, to prove someone wrong who said it couldn't be done," the junior designer explained. "I sure proved them!"

Still, she admits, she couldn't have done it alone. "My dress is a group sex project," she said. "A lot of friends were only too happy to lend a hand to make this happen."

Even her father contributed, Diane said. "And my little bother, Steve, gave me a few dozen, too, although neither Mom nor Dad know about his donations-or, at least, they didn't know until now. Oops! Sorry, Steve."

"My dress will be the talk of the school," Diane gushed, "or, now that it's going to be showcased on T. V., the talk of the town, maybe."

I don't think there's any doubt about that," Jim Elliott, the cameraman agreed.

The dress is "beautiful, my friends say," Diane admitted, "but it has a practical use, too: not all the condoms I used were used. After the dance, when we go out on the town, my dress should come in handy in preventing pregnancies and STDs."

Diane said that the praise she's received from her friends has given her another idea. "I've already started saving the materials I need for my wedding gown," she declared. "It's going to be even better than my prom dress, decked out with colored condoms, ribbed condoms, lubricated condoms, spermicidal condoms, transparent condoms, French ticklers-you name it!"

Her idea for a condom wedding gown has caught the attention of several of the product's many manufacturers, including Trojan, Durex, and Lifestyles. In cooperation with local businesses frequented by students on prom night, these companies are offering free party favors.

Fast-food restaurants, often the eateries of choice for after-prom outings, are among the suppliers along with sporting goods manufacturers. "And they have publicly thanked me for inspiring them!" Diane gushed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more