Oscars committee jitters at Adele Adkins' 'barrage balloon' dress

Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 21 February 2013

image for Oscars committee jitters at Adele Adkins' 'barrage balloon' dress
The Hindenberg may have inspired haute couture's barrage balloon chic

Los Angeles - A total ban on all wide-angle lens shots is one option under consideration as Academy Awards judges ponder the merit of booking Adele to sing at Sunday night's ceremony.

The Brit entertainer is due to perform the Skyfall theme nominated in the Best Original Song category that's already won her a Golden Globe.

This morning she was snapped at a secret final fitting of her Oscar De La Rentboy frock which Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences organizers fear will irretrievably tarnish their big night's image.

"It's what London Fashion Week designers call barrage balloon chic," celebwatch site LA FagHagSlagMag.con sources commented.

"Hundreds of yards of bullet-proof fabric tethered down firmly for use in defence against low-level aircraft attack."

The cutting comments describe a sartorial style based on the UK's World War II secret weapon, a dirigible designed to defend against dive bombers flying at heights up to 5,000 feet.

"Fans of dirigible technology are sure to go wild," the celebwatch site spokesperson added helpfully.

"Hopefully there'll be no explosive charges in the underskirt that during WWII could be pulled up against enemy aircraft to ensure their destruction."

Sunday night's Dolby Theater audience will be scanned by security details trained in detection of combustible devices.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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