New Starbucks Opens Up Inside Starbucks

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Friday, 6 April 2012

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Starbucks customers in NYC's Union Square will now have 2 Starbucks options instead of just one - in the same location.

Residents of New York City's Union Square area were delighted when a new Starbucks store opened up inside Union Square's already-existing Starbucks.

Sean Kingsley, a graduate film student at nearby New York University, said that the opening of the new store was virtually a dream come true.

"I come here almost every night to study," he said, "but it's so packed that it's always really tough to find a table. So it's great that now there will be two options instead of one."

Sean's girlfriend, Grace Murphy, felt the same way.

"For literally the past year, I've been hoping for a new Starbucks in our 'hood, preferably in this exact location. But I figured chances of that happening were pretty slim since there was already a Starbucks in here. So I'm pleasantly surprised."

Gloria Del Ray, the manager of the new "inner circle" store, discussed the business concept behind the new Starbucks.

"The outer store might have been sufficient a few years ago, but the demand for overpriced coffee has been increasing steadily ever since then. We saw that there was a need in the old store that wasn't being met, so we took some measurements, scoped out the perfect parameters for our new store, and bingo! Here we are."

Del Ray explained that despite the stores' proximity, they will target two very different clienteles. While the outer store will continue to cater to university students and artists, the new Starbucks will focus on extremely selective, high-end coffee-drinkers. For that reason, drip coffee and espresso drinks in the inner store cost approximately 25% more than the same beverages in the outer store.

"Customers are, of course, welcome to mingle between the two stores," Del Ray clarified, "but special offers like discounts on refills will be honored only on drinks purchased within the same store."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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