Hasbro Introduces "Tot Taser" Series

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Friday, 13 April 2012

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More peaceful families is the aim of Hasbro's new Tot Taser.

Hasbro, the world's second-leading toy manufacturer, has introduced a new series of devices for use by parents: the "Tot Taser" series.

CEO Brian Goldner emphasized that the Tot Taser series does not represent a shift in Hasbro's business focus from children's toys to the adult toy market.

"The Tot Taser is NOT a 'toy' for parents," he explained. "Rather, it is an instrument that will assist parents in facilitating appropriate playtime behavior. Of course, if parents come to enjoy using the Tot Taser, so much the better. But that's not its primary purpose."

Goldner discussed the inspiration behind the Tot Taser series.

"Police have a unique insight into human psychology and behavior. Given that the Taser is so helpful to law enforcement, it occurred to us that it could be just as helpful, even more so, to parents - who, in many ways are our society's kid-police."

The CEO predicted that the Tot Taser series will serve the additional advantage of reducing crime over the long-term, as the use of Tot Taser guns on young children for minor acts of disobedience will deter them from committing more grievous crimes in the future.

According to Goldner, there are several other Taser parenting products currently in development by Hasbro, including the "Teen Taser" series, and the "Toddler Taser" series, specifically designed to combat the terrible twos.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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