Pigs on trial over major insurance fraud

Funny story written by dulcie gabbani

Thursday, 22 March 2012

The trial opened today of the three little pig brothers, who are accused of being involved in a major house insurance fraud. It has been stated that the pig brothers, First, Second and Third, were about to defraud a major insurer for thousands of pounds in false claims relating to damage to their homes last year.

Police were alerted when insurance industry watchdogs spotted large multiple claims for "total house loss" had been submitted by two of the pig brothers within a twenty four hour period.
The pigs had stated to police, that this was the work of a neighbour of theirs, a Mr Wolf, who had indeed blown down the house of first little pig, when he was refused entry to the premises. His brother, second little pig had said that Mr Wolf had also blown down his house whilst he was busy shaving the hairs on his chinny chin chin. The eldest of the brothers, third little pig, is also accused of actual bodily harm on Mr Wolf, by luring him into a large pot of boiling water, causing 80% burns to the victim.

The prosecutions barrister, Harvey Nettles, opened the proceedings by stating the case for his client, insurers Direct Loin, by accusing the pig brothers of a wilful and amateurish deception aimed at defrauding his client of a large amount of money. He stated that the youngest brother, First, had built a house made entirely of straw. The dwelling, it appeared, had no local authority planning permissions, nor did it meet any current building regulations relating to the construction of dwelling houses. The same accusation was also levelled at the older brother, Second, who it is claimed, attempted to divert attention from the deceit by building his house out of sticks.

Mr Nettles went on to claim that the eldest of the Pig brothers, Third, got cold trotters as the scam gathered pace, and he built his house with bricks so as to divert the police investigation away from himself, to save his own bacon.

There had earlier been angry scenes outside the Old Bailey as protesters from SOW (Save Our Wolves) waved placards protesting at the level of cruelty and injury to Mr Wolf. Some protesters called for them to get the chop, whilst others said they should be put away until they were cured.

The trial continues tomorrow with the prosecution calling witnesses from the building industry, and possibly an expert into wolf behaviour.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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