A Recent Poll Finds That 95% Of Hotmail Accounts Were Created For The Sole Purpose Of Collecting Spam

Funny story written by Gregamemnon

Monday, 20 February 2012

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

CONCORD, NH-Findings from a recent poll taken by the University of New Hampshire show that 95% of Hotmail accounts were created as a result of people not wanting to register their good emails when prompted to do so by shady sites.

"Sure, I'll take that free offer, but you're still not getting my Gmail account," said Kent Forscyth, who didn't realize that the poll was strictly non-verbal. The site, which was once home to excited and poorly formatted letters between friends and loved ones, has now become a wasteland, where failed copywriters send their last shreds of dignity in sentence form to die.

The study also concluded that 68% of those with Hotmail accounts don't currently remember their passwords, and that 98% of those don't really give a flying fuck. Furthermore, 40% couldn't even recall their mother's maiden name or the name of their first pet. When asked to comment on the shockingly believable findings, Hotmail founder and former CEO Sabeer Bhatia began crying into his hands while muttering something about being a disappointment to his family.

Tech experts predict that the Hotmail we know and ignore will remain in operation until around 2020, when it is expected to buckle under the sheer weight of penis enlargement promotions.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more