British Gas announces 5% increase in pretending to care about customers

Funny story written by Deafo

Friday, 13 January 2012

British Gas has announced a 5% increase in pretending to care about its customer base after confirming it will slash 5% off electricity bills which increased by 16% in August.

The move comes a day after EDF ramped up their own attempts at feigning concern for a British public accustomed to delving further into their pockets at the merest sniff of a rise in energy commodities.

A spokeswoman for British Gas revealed their pride at being able to package a net increase on bills of 11% as a serious cost saving for their customers.

'British Gas has nailed its colours firmly to the mast with its decision to cut 5% from the cost of electricity bills for people up and down the land, with immediate effect,' she stated.

'To those who suggest we were door stopped into doing so following one of competitors decision to the same clearly does not know how we operate.'

British Gas customer, Vera Benn, said she felt the reduction was a gesture as empty as her bank account.

'They say what goes up must come down, but British Gas seems intent on perching itself somewhere on the way down before taking to flight once more.'

Mrs Benn believes said she was intending to increase her childrens inheritance by 5% to ensure they could cope with their energy bills after she had passed away.

'But only after I've reduced by 16% first, of course'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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