City bankers alarm as gap between rich and poor just big enough to taxi private jet through

Funny story written by Deafo

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Many City workers are concerned the gap between rich and poor may still not be sufficiently vast for their private jets to taxi through, according to a report by a think-tank.

The St Paul's Institute report, Value and Values: Perceptions of Ethics in the City Today, said several hundred of the several hundred bankers polled felt the breach needed to be extended still further as recent advances within the aviation industry could see the size of private jets increase exponentially henceforth.

Banker, Charlton Fessworth-Sim, said the report showed progress was being made in the City's bid to distance themselves from the most basic tenets of humanity, but more could be done.

He told reporters, 'We in the City always find it funny that the rich and poor gap expanding creates such consternation amongst the populace.'

'I would be much more concerned if that gap was decreasing, not only because it would mean my colleague's and I were not performing at a level commensurate with embuing the public with a molten hatred of us, but because currently that gap is scarcely big enough for me to taxi my private jet through.'

'And lets not forget just how many members of the public I employ to polish the 18ct gold 14 toilet flushes I have on board.'

Member of the public Sheila Part had different concerns at the disparity between the most wealthy and the most poor.

'There was a time when a poor person could be depended upon for the chipper acceptance of their plight.'

'But now that their previous plight is the stuff of dreams, they have to recalibrate their ambitions to only being as poor as they were five years ago.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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