WASHINGTON DC - Recent college graduate Molly Katchpole who not only is broke like a joke but also an aspiring politician earned her ticket to the White House when she single-handedly pulled the nations second largest bank's hands out of her pockets and up their noses.
A native of Rhode Island, the smallest and emptiest place on earth, Molly now spends her time doing freelance work in Washington or what Republicans like to call freeloading.
Of course, there are some who will always believe that Molly needs to work harder or that she should have worked harder when she was in school, but whatever is said about her, it should be a depiction of a one block hero.
Bank of America, the second largest bank in this nation, planned a month ago to charge a five dollar debit monthly fee to all customers that have money in their account and twenty dollars for occupy wall street protesters for pissing them off.
In a bit of a rage, one Occupy Wall St. protester said the only twenty dollars that Bank of America would be getting is the monopoly money after the bank bails him out of jail.
To be fair, Katchpole knew this victory was a no-brain-er and had suspicions whether Netflix CEO Reed Hastings had anything to do with the stupid move.
"Clearly, it's horrible timing for the bank to issue a makes-no-sense fee when they are protesters who live at the foot steps of your front doors," says Molly Katchpole.
A bank spokesperson commented on the matter and told us that he hates social media and doesn't deserve to be shamed just because a kid can't work harder at work.
No word yet on whose presidential ticket Molly Katchpole will now join in lieu of her new found Sarah Palin celebrity. Pundits speculate that Herman Cain has his eye on her.
