Fart Causes Dow Jones to fall 1 Million Points

Written by mikewadestr

Friday, 11 November 2011

image for Fart Causes Dow Jones to fall 1 Million Points
Now that is one hell of a fart!

A loud fart that occurred on the floor of the Estonian Parliament ignited panic and pandemonium on Wall Street, leading to a mass selloff of stocks by investors causing the Dow Jones Industrial Average to drop more than 1 million points, most of which happened two hours before the exchange even opened. The selloff is expected to continue throughout the weekend and may never stop until somebody actually decides to buy the stocks.

The incident has been dubbed: The fart that was heard around the world.

Apparently, the current financial fiasco started quite innocently when Estonian President, Toomas Hendrik Ilves was telling a common Estonian elevator repairman joke. It was when Ilves got to the punch line that was: "Is that a spring in your pants or are you just happy to see me", that the very loud fart occurred. No one knows who farted because the entire parliament broke down laughing, which caused immediate panic on Wall Street.

"This is horrible!" Cried out J.P. Morgan stock broker Ellis Bonds. "Right now, anything can tip the balance of the stock market, and believe me, this fart did".

"It appears that the foul wind has annihilated the hopes of many investors who were hoping to have their sales full of prosperous winds full of gold and silver. This has done nothing more than put a dark cloud over everyone. Everything really stinks now!"

"The enormity of the sellout could only be described as being enormously, enormous", stated Vice President Joseph Biden who was speaking on behalf of President Obama. Obama was indisposed at the time, busily giving a speech at an Occupy Wall Street rally in New York City's Zuccotti Park, where he told his fellow protesters that he is now definitely one of the 99 percent since he bet all his money on the Texas Rangers.

"I mean look at me! Just look at me!" continued Biden standing in only his underwear. "The whole thing just blew all my clothes off. Hell if it weren't for the New York Giants, I would still have them. I hate New York!"

Financial experts did mention that it will take a fart from an elected official in Sicily to throw the Wall Street Stock market back into balance.

It has been rumored that the family owned business Bush Brothers Company has just signed an exclusive contract with Sicily to sell their best selling product: Bush's Baked Beans.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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