Arab Spring On Wall Street - Hold The Camels

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 24 October 2011

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Hold the camels.

New York - It's an Arab Spring on Wall Street, but protesters don't expect to see the NYPD galloping through Zuccotti Park on camels. Protesters call themselves the 99% and say the country is run by the 1%. The 1% gained control through the election process, creating corporate greed and unemployment. That 1% is one nasty piece of cheese.

"Get out-a-here," ordered all the news media. Except for The Spoof editors.

One way the 1% hijacked the country was through the Citizens United decision. Seems the U.S. Supreme Court decided in favor of Citizens United.

Sounds sweet. Like: Take care of kittens. Help your neighbors. Keep a night light on.

Not so fast.

Citizens United was a decision sponsored by the conservative Heritage Foundation, opening the door for corporate electioneering of candidates. A Faustian deal, candidates were bought by corporations and voted on issues that favored their corporate friends.

The corporations are the rich 1%. Health care insurance companies contributed millions to candidates who voted down universal health care. Universal health care would have protected the 99%. Get it?

Citizens United was passed by a Supreme Court vote of 5 to 4. Justice Clarence Thomas voted in favor of Citizens United. Mrs. Clarence Thomas worked as a lobbyist on behalf of the Heritage Foundation. Sweet.

Mrs. Thomas received a salary of $700,000 from the Heritage Foundation. Seven times sweet, but something smells like Limburger cheese.

No one's suggesting that Justice Thomas and wife are the Bonnie and Clyde of American justice, but fifty House Democrats have requested a federal investigation into the failure of Justice Thomas to comply with the Ethics in Government Act of 1978. With this investigation comes the possibility of a retroactive recusal of his vote for the Citizens United measure.

Good-bye Citizens United?

Not so fast.

If Citizens United remains law, will the 99% vote out corporate bought politicians? Will the 99% take back their hijacked country?

Take a look at Wisconsin, the cheese capital of the world. Wisconsin is in the middle of a successful recall election. The 99% in Wisconsin are already winning.

Smile. Say cheese.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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