Shanghai Suicides Not Allowed Without State Approval
Under severe lock-down, Chinese people in Shanghai are pissed off and doing the only thing they can do to protest against an unjust government: they are killing themselves in record numbers! One Chinese man about to hang himself said, “We’re starv…
Read full storyThe World Will Soon Be Underwater
And not soon enough! In coming years, scientists report that sea levels will rise just enough to drown every city on Earth that’s close to a major waterway. Finally, all those land-locked countries will become prime real estate! Hello, Chad,…
Read full storyBiscuit game to be banned from House of Commons
For centuries, the British Houses of Parliament have echoed to the fevered fapping noises of pistoning palms. It is a parliamentary procedure little known to the outside world as it is usually conducted under great secrecy, yet its days are now numbe…
Read full storyOld Friend Trudeau
Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, and his cabinet have officially declared that Russia is engaged in genocide against Ukraine. When asked about the Chinese genocide of the Uyghur people, Trudeau said, “Duuuuuuuuuh ... nope, it’s OK.” Shortly aft…
Read full storyDonald Trump Is Having His Tongue Circumsized
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - The Trumptard's personal physician, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, has just remarked that his long time friend, patient, and yarn spinner, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump is going to have his tongue circumsized. Dr. Fu Fi, who has tried a…
Read full storyPresident Putin Is Suffering From Tonsilitis, Laryngitis, Diarrhea, Syphirea, and Fucking Guilt
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - According to The Alpha Beta News Agency, Russian president Vladimir Nikita Putin, is now the most hateful, despicable, evil, world leader in the world. Reporter Mimosa Sabrosa, with ABNA, said that even 89% of Pu…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Explains That Nakedness and Nudity Are Two Different Things
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Cong. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who is hated by much more people than the likes of Bill Cosby, Tucker Carlson, Hitler, Will Smith, and Tennessee Senator Marsha "Wrinkled Butt" Blackburn recently spoke with Hollywood H…
Read full storyJoe Manchin, AKA The Democrat Traitor, Assaulted By Three Second Graders At A McDonalds
SHEEP SHIT, West Virginia - (Satire News) - Two of the most hated politicians in the US are Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia, and Joe Manchin of West Virginia. Tapioca Swizzle, reporter with Vox Populi has stated that if meaness, stupidity, and h…
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