
Man Receives Death Threat Over Narcissistic Material
A man who was accused of being overly-narcissistic on a satirical news website, has received death threats threatening him with death, I can reveal. Myke Woodson, 55, said he had also been accused not only of being overly-narcissistic, but overtly...
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Retired gardener becomes unlikely drill music DJ
Percy Shears, 77, from Croydon, has become something of a celebrity in his neighbourhood by holding "drill music" parties in his shed. He regularly hosts dozens of teenagers on Saturday nights, and police often visit for fear that they might turn vio...
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Cabinet Summoned to Downing Street for May's Final Brexit Text But Says a Two Line Text Message "Isn't Enough"
Cabinet members were called in this afternoon to sign off Theresa Maybot's Brexit deal but all was not well as it was condensed into a two line SMS or "text message" as Britons like to call it. "Ministers" were shocked by the paucity of information m...
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Where are they now? Dave Lee Travis' Hairy Monster
He always liked to boast about it on live radio and he did so for years. How he got away with it for so long, nobody knows but at some point the Hairy Monster metamorphosed into the Hairy Cornflake. Maybe it had become small brown and crispy until introduced to cold liquid. According to Botham Squab (sic) in "My Days Tending the Hairy Cornflake" "The hair prefix was, of course, down to DLT’s l...
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Death Threat Would Never Have Been Carried Out, Says Man Who Sent Himself A Death Threat
A man who sent himself a death threat has told police he never meant to carry it out. The man, Myke Himself, 55, said that the threat was just a prank. Himself said he sent the death threat to himself "as a laugh", and that it was not meant to...
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New Driving Game Provides Ultimate Challenge For Gamers!
A new driving game is set to break all sales records when it is released at the end of this month, and gamers have said they cannot wait to get their hands dirty with it! The exciting new potential market bestseller - 'Battambang Driving' - is one that will have players on the edge of their motorcycle seats, as they traverse the Battambang countryside on their way into the city, aiming to surv...
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Belfast Marathon Sprint Finish Ruined As Runner Slips On Dog Shit
There was real drama in the finishing stretch in the Belfast Marathon today, when, coming into the final 100 yards of the race, three men still in contention entered into a neck-and-neck sprint finish, only for one of them to bow out 10 yards from th...
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