Local Hospital Opens Another Shitty Food Court
Local Hospital, Last Resort Methodist, has opened its second food court in an effort to get more patients into the hospital. “The first food court didn’t have enough disease in their food. This time, with options like McFryBird and Lard Cow, we’r...
Read full storySpace Threats Rain Down on Post-Brexit UK
The UK’s defence secretary has declared that we must be “ready to counter threats from space”. He made the announcement after watching Starship Troopers and posting a live Vlog of him standing on ants. The UK has proved itself incapable of dealing...
Read full storyMan Tells His Son There Is No Santa Claus
A man has been accused of what amounts to cruelty to children, after he informed his young son that there was no such person as Santa Claus. Dave Benson, 31, from Cleveland, Ohio - which, being both 220 miles in length, and 220 miles wide, should...
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