Lempit Opik to give Donald Trump careers advice
Beanpole, former stand up comedian, harmonica and spoon player, politician and surprisingly popular with the ladies, Lempit Opik is to give Donald Trump careers advice. In January 2018, Donald Trump will be taking lessons in re-invention from Mado...
Read full storyMassed Mumblings signify the beginning of 2018
Around the country, families, friends and work colleagues are currently planning for the massed mumbling of Auld Lang Syne. The song, written by Scottish Poet Robert Burns is only really known for its first verse and chorus (much like the national a...
Read full storyNick Clegg says 'You'll address me as Sir, you little gob-shite'
Newly Knighted, former deputy prime Minister Nick Clegg has told his former boss, David (Dave to my mates) Cameron, 'You'll address me as Sir, you little gob-shite'. The altercation took place in a part of London, where the former colleagues met,...
Read full storyDonald Trump doesn't understand whole concept of Pantomime
Donald Trump doesn't understand whole concept of Pantomime US President Donald Trump doesn't understand the whole concept of Pantomime, reveals former White House whipping boy Sean Spicer. Apparently, the practice of seeing former television st...
Read full storyProclaimers fan gives up after a mile
Wayne Hemmingway, (no, not that one) a life long fan of popular singing twins The Proclaimers has given up on his pledge to walk 500 miles for his ex-wife after only one mile, and two blisters that are absolute agony. The overweight love rat met h...
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