Accounting Firm Closed Permanently After Total Solar Eclipse
Columbia, SC - All of the employees of a local accounting firm filed for disability yesterday after attending a firm sponsored "total solar eclipse" reception. With all of the employees now on disability, the firm was forced to shut its doors.
Read full storyFake news journalist nearly accidentally writes the truth
Fake news journalist Edgar Blyton, not his real name, came close to accidentally publishing a true story last week in Illustrated Lies Magazine. "It's not that I intended to write the truth" the fake Blyton said, "I was in the middle of writing some...
Read full storyDog crap in UK supermarket trolleys is unhygienic claims mum!
Children dumped in supermarket trolleys for free fun-rides through colourful, tasty looking gangways are to be banned because of doggy poop! A very hygienic mum, wearing rubber gloves, observed kiddies, even up to the grand old age of 9, being pus...
Read full storyMindless Pirate
Some people think he is a senseless pirate with nothing on his mind but broads and booty. They say that he never thinks of anyone besides himself and would walk over his mother to obtain a chance of winning a silver dollar. His mother to this day claims he is an orphan even after the DNA test proved she is his biological mother. His teeth are green and full of holes so the grimy lemon pulp and wat...
Read full storyAfter Monuments disband and flee US Corporate CEO's follow suit and flee the Very Very White-house
After the recent spate of Southern Monuments fleeing the oncoming waves of Ne-Nazis, US Corporate CEO's have followed suit and disbanded The Business Nazi Councils in Washington. It appears as though the 2 now demised Presidents Councils were invi...
Read full storyCourage Under Nuclear Fallout
The Dopes were still alive and moved into the once-vacant fallout shelter in our next door neighbor's yard. How I wish they didn't survive the economic collapse, food crisis, power grid failure, nuclear radiation, radioactive ticks, acid banana cream pie rain, unselfies, or the pepperoni yogurt shortage. They are so awkward and strange. Who comes over to their neighbor's house and says, "Hi! How a...
Read full story"Cigarette Smoke Soap" Sales Surge
Richmond, Va - Sales of cigarette smoke soap, with its patent pending cigarette smoke scent, have surged across the United States. "Anyone who uses our soap will smell like cigarette smoke for at least two days, or your money back. With its pat...
Read full storyDear Santa
January 12, 2016 Dear Santa, Hey Santa. Ever since I moved out of my parents' house in 1998 I noticed that you stopped coming to my place. I'm a 35 year old man, but this I don't understand! You came every year when I lived with mom and dad, but now that have my own apartment, you don't show. At one point, I almost stopped believing in you! I have been hoping that you are very busy and will ge...
Read full storyMcDonald's: Thanks for the Weight Loss!
In Raleigh, NC, Merab Morgan pulled off something astonishing by losing 37 pounds on a diet based solely on McDonald's food. She said, "I thought it's two birds with one stone - to lose weight and prove a point for the little fat people." She...
Read full storyGlobal Warming or Hocus Pocus?
Many people are arguing points for global warming in the news and there are some people that believe it and some that don't. Scientists find errors in global warming data because the satellites drifted in orbit and were reporting nighttime tempera...
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