Scientists Discover Human Race Inbred From Day One
In a disturbing finding prominent scientists now believe inbreeding dates back to the very dawn of mankind; their work confirming that every man, woman and child is related to everyone else living or dead. And they say it is this common thread that b...
Read full storyTheroux on Trudeau
We are sitting down today with actor Justin Theroux to get his impressions of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Theroux is an actor known for his starring role in The Leftovers, although his career has already spanned decades in mostly forgettable roles, such as "lawyer on phone" in Dedication and "DJ at party scene" in Tropic Thunder. Theroux may be best known for being married to J...
Read full storyAdult Diapers to Underwrite 'Oldchella' Concert Series
Depends Adult Diapers (D.A.D), has announced it will be a major sponsor of the upcoming Desert Trip Concerts this November in Indio, CA. The featured artists at the two weekend shows include the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Paul McCartney and other ea...
Read full storyErskine Quint is a reincarnated H.G.Wells!
After surviving two epic adventures by the thick skin of his wonderful, shiny set of dentures, it seems that aristocratic superhero, Erskine Quint Esq, has been reincarnated and stuck in a time machine, a la H.G.Wells, just prettier though! After...
Read full storyConsumer Alert!
Los Angeles, CA: A children's laxative peddled by street vendors in Chinatown has been confiscated by DEA agents. The product in question was called Ganesha's Blessing Gentle Grunts Stool Softner . It was designed to look like an Indian product b...
Read full storyAmerican Airlines Moves to Inconvenience Based Frequent Flier Program
American Airlines, in an effort to keep up with competitor's complete disregard for customer service, has decided to overhaul their frequent flyer program. The airline will now award miles based on money spent and inconveniences endured in effort to...
Read full storyJudicial Branch Implodes over Bias Issue
Washington, DC: Hundreds of judges resigned today and more resignations are expected amid recent bias claims by U.S. Presidential candidate Donald Trump. At press time, seventy judges of Mexican heritage have already resigned, and other judges who...
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