Theroux on Trudeau

Written by Mike Peril

Tuesday, 7 June 2016

image for Theroux on Trudeau
Theroux Gives his Thoughts on Politics, Tattoos, Wives and Weed

We are sitting down today with actor Justin Theroux to get his impressions of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Theroux is an actor known for his starring role in The Leftovers, although his career has already spanned decades in mostly forgettable roles, such as "lawyer on phone" in Dedication and "DJ at party scene" in Tropic Thunder.

Theroux may be best known for being married to Jennifer Aniston of Friends fame.

So, welcome, Justin, and thank you for sitting down with me. I wanted to open with your impressions of Justin Trudeau.


Trudeau, the Prime Minister of Canada.

Ok. I don't know him.

I can see that. To start, you are both named Justin, you were both born in 1971, you both have had acting roles. Any other similarities?

I thought the Canada guy was named Pierre Trudeau.

Yes, correct, that was years ago, Justin's father. He is dead now. But good! In what ways do you think your successes are similar to Trudeau's?

Well, I guess I've been pretty successful in the acting world and I've never heard of him, so I seem to have him beat on acting at least.

And you both married well I would say.

Right, you really just want me to talk about Jennifer. I get that a lot.

Some quick impressions, maybe. Here is a picture of Justin Trudeau and his wife. First, who is better looking?

His wife.

No, no, I mean between you and Justin Trudeau.

Oh, me, I guess, although I could definitely see why girls would dig him.

And how about between Jennifer and his wife, Sophie Grégoire-Trudeau.

Trick question right? You just want Jen to get mad at me. So with trick questions you should always answer with the opposite so as not to be tripped up. So it's Jennifer, no, I mean Trudeau's babe. Well, now I'm confused. I would hook up with her if that's what you mean.

I appreciate the candor, thank you. And now let's compare tattoos. Here is a picture of Justin Trudeau's "earth and raven" tattoo on his upper right arm taken from a charity celebrity boxing match, and here is a picture of your massive back tattoo from a scene in The Leftovers. Which in your view is more tasteful?

I'm butt naked in that picture, you had to pick that one? I look good though! Ok, you're making me say it, my backside tops his bicep.

Here's another picture of Trudeau, this time standing and balancing on one hand on a table, to the delight of others. Can you do that?

I delight women in other ways, particularly when I'm jogging.

And what do you know about quantum computing?

What's quantum computing?

One final question, any idea why your last name is spelled with an X and Trudeau's is not?

I'm French. He's Canadian.

True, anything else?

Yeah, did I hear that this Prime Minister dude smokes weed at parties or something?

Yes, on occasion. Now you remember him. Justin--thank you for your time today.

Wait, aren't we going to talk about my last season of The Leftovers?

No, our time is up.

Oh, ok, thanks anyway. Say hey to Trudeau for me.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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