Donald Trump promises to supply female soldiers with chastity belts
A press release today highlighted Trump's plan to add protection to female soldiers of the United States military. The plan consists of equipping each female soldier with a chastity belt to "prevent bad guys from doing bad things to 'em." Trump's...
Read full storyTrump Will Start New Reality Show Based on Hiring and Firing Cabinet Members
Hollywood, CA President-elect Donald Trump announced today that he will have a new reality show starting in January. "I will be the only sitting President of the United States to ever have a major television show while serving as President. My sho...
Read full storyGuest Mistakenly Drinks Family Eggnog
Everyone in the Waller family has known for years. Whatever you do, you do not drink Grandpa Julian's Christmas eggnog. It is an act of self-preservation passed down to the young. Children learn from their elders. You pour the frothy poison in...
Read full storyOprah Building Backup Government
The 2016 presidential election outcome shocked Oprah Winfrey as it shocked many others. However, after Trump announced his cabinet appointments, Oprah got busy. Oprah began creating a "spare" U.S. government on the off-chance the incoming adminis...
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