Trump Inspired to Follow Webb's Lead in Admitting Murder on National Television
Las Vegas, Nevada - At the Democratic debates in Las Vegas last night, the closing question posed by moderator Anderson Cooper was a unique one. Each candidate was given 90 seconds to identify the enemy they were most proud of making during their lif...
Read full storyAssange responds to withdrawal of police from outside the embassy
According to a recent interview with Spoof News, Julian Assange has stated his relief at being able to look out the window and see no sign of police around the embassy. He stated that the shock of this development is only gradually wearing off. Fo...
Read full storyWebb: Vietnam was 'happiest time of my life'
Following Tuesday night's first Democratic presidential primary debate, former senator Jim Webb was given a chance to clarify one of the most memorable comments of the evening. Asked which enemy of his he is most proud of, Webb replied, "I'd have...
Read full storyDutch remain flat!
It seems "there are too many mountains high enough" for the Dutch as they attempted to climb Everest and fell off with impunity. Remaining as flat as their national dish, pancakes smothered with syrup, very sticky! Blind led the blind into a cul d...
Read full storyObama's "don't do stupid stuff" policy upgraded for honorable exceptions
Mr. Obama's hallmark "don't-do-stupid-stuff" policy from a few years back is currently being upgraded to "unless-it-involves-Syria." Yesterday the US dropped 50 tons of ammunition near Raqqa to a Syria-Arab brigade fighting ISIS/IS, the leader of...
Read full storyJohn Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (2/2)
How have people received John Kerry's recent nuclear annhilation of The Onion? We'll start off with Hillary Clinton. Now listen here, young man. With all due respect, reporter… which ain't very much, let's be… Ah, HONEST… Erm… Well anyway, why so fastidious? Huh? I mean, you know, maybe Iran are, say, just a few decades ahead of schedule in developing nukes and this is the first...
Read full storyJohn Kerry 'Accidentally' Nukes The Onion, Sky Doesn't Fall In (1/2)
Notable public figure, hilariously swiftboated, um, SWIFTBOAT political celebrity and darling of the MSNBC broadcasting-apologetical complex John Kerry… Well, he's just made yet another honest mistake in a somewhat lengthy line of honest mistakes. John Kerry has put his hermeneutical philosophy of 'The Constitution is a living document' into practice via a creative reinterpretation of the Fi...
Read full story