
Obama 'oral circumcision' cartoon ahead of Netanyahu Congress rant
Washington DC - A Banksy-style cartoon of Barack Obama performing metzitzah b'peh** on a terrorist baby has appeared on a Capitol Hill men's bathroom this Monday night. Secret Service agents described the etching as a writing-on-the-wall omen des...
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Septic Tank Cleaner Scores StarShit Gold!
Wiilliam Bigturd, an American Indian septic tank cleaner in Hollywood announced at a press conference held by creative Artists Agency today at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills: "Yep, it's true! I've been cleaning out the septic tanks of the Stars for many moons and i have saved and cataloged their "Star Shit" with it's DNA -- along with the starshit my ancestors have saved. We have been in the...
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"Death Buyout" for The Elderly to Save Children is Essential
We Have To Eliminate Some Old People To Save The Kids. My idea is to offer a person with say two years to live a "Death Buyout" - ie. "Here's $100,000 for your kids -now adios grandma because we can't spend another $600,000 to keep you drooling for another coupla years." These are the hard facts: "Let's not forget that with the elderly population growing rapidly, even if cost increases fo...
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Bachelorette Two Hour Anal Sex Episode - Highest ratings in TV History - Guaranteed!
In my opinion a special cornholing edition of The Bachelorette would DRIVE 40 million viewers to this program and be a breakout example - once and for all - of what American Morons really want in escapist reality programming in this cultural era best defined by Chris Hitchens in his book: The Age of Ilusion - (The Rise of Spectacle AND The Triumph of Illiteracy) Week 3 of the latest season o...
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Obama Announces - Red Neck Christian Brains To Be Mapped
President Obama on Tuesday will announce a broad new research initiative, starting with $100 million in 2014, to invent and refine new technologies to understand the hows and whys - the unique functioning of - Fundamentalist Christian/Redneck thou...
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Why Should Government Health Care Cover Fat Hogs Like Rush Limbaugh?
SO you don't want health providers to cover contraception? -You don't think it's valid to allow women to have casual sex without running the risk of having to undergo an abortion for an unwanted child (like we don't have enough of these) AND you also don't want effective government programs to help single mothers under the psychological and financial distress caused by these unwanted births? A...
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Kate Middleton denies palace tryst
LONDON -- The royals are not above showing a little of their majestic bodies on occasion. Exhibitionist Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cornhole and wife of Prince William, is proof of that, having shown her regal tatas to the world and having flashed her...
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