Turkey elections are a turkey
From the newspaper, THE SAMOVAR GAZETTE, that brings you the latest news, and quickest, if not the most accurate. It has now been several days since the election that brought many surprises to the people of Turkey. President Recep Tayyip Erdoga...
Read full storyPrince Philip succumbs to mad cow disease
London - A trail of steaming cow pats around Buckingham Palace has been traced to Prince Philip on his 94th birthday. The bonkers consort of Elizardbirth Vagina has long been suspected of disseminating bovine spongiform encephalitis and other farm...
Read full storyRafael Correa caught fracking - no, wait, hacking! - into Nicola Sturgeon's ovulation-tracker phone app
New York - The President of Ecuador picked up the scent of the ScotsGnats Leader's ripening sunny-side uppers during a UN hog roast in honor of FIFA. And now he's got Scottish eggnog all over his face. Sturgeon, on a four day fat-finding missio...
Read full storyCaitlyn Jenner Now Selling Reversible Bracelet: WWCD-WWBD
BILLINGSGATE POST: Whether you wish to call him by his baptized name, Bruce, or by her Irish name, Caitlyn, be assured that Jenner will profit from it. After his revealing pose on the cover of Vanity Fair, for which he received untold millions, Je...
Read full storyMath Whiz Nash Should Have Known The End Was Near
Boston, MA - Rhode Scholars and fellow mathematician dorks around the globe, all agree that Professor John Nash, the Nobel Prize winning math genius, and subject of the Oscar winning film, 'A Beautiful Mind,' should have easily figured out that he w...
Read full storyBanished - A Short Story
The warm rays of the sun pleasantly woke the two. Eve had rested well, her mind in a state of exhilaration with her discovery of the "headache powder" power over Adam she could exercise at will. Adam, on the other hand, did not sleep well due to this same power. Eve looked forward to the adventures the day would bring, while Adam looked forward to the adventures the night might bring. Eve suggeste...
Read full storyLAPD Prepared With 500 Mile Roll of Yellow 'Police Line - Do Not Cross' Tape
Los Angeles, CA - Police Chief for the LAPD, Billy Clubemhard, said that they were nearly done rolling up a massive 500 mile roll of 'POLICE LINE - DO NOT CROSS' tape, for when Los Angeles inevitably becomes a giant cesspool of squalor so uninhabitab...
Read full storySuper Duper Trooper Terrorizes African-American teens at a swimming pool party in Tex-Ass
McKINNEY, Texas - A mean-spirited, psychopathic cop in Texas terrorized black teens at a swimming pool party and then posted the video of his brutalizing meltdown to his own YouTube account, dubbing the video a training video. All I can say is WEL...
Read full storyBeyonce Reveals Weight Loss Secrets
"The Beyonce-approved "22-Day Revolution" vegan diet regimen was created by celeb trainer Marco Borges, and she's such a fan that she wrote the forward to his book. Beyonce and Marco will also be launching a vegan meal delivery service together. Read more at http://thefix.ninemsn.com.au/2015/06/09/08/24/fix090615beyonce-diet-and-weight-struggle Said Beyonce: Day One was truly amazing,...
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