God Cancels Doomsday!
For the second time in as many millenniums the good Lord has put the kibosh on Doomsday. Said Lord God, "Full scale death shall be dealt not now nor anytime in the next 1000 years." Specialty TV programmers are aghast. "This is not good news,...
Read full storyEvil Bactrian 'Goes Mental' At Camel Kisses Farm
Wichita Fools, North Texarse - A two-hump camel's rutting season debut got off on the wrong hoof this weekend with the sudden trampling to death of stud staff. Keepers at the Camel Kisses Farm were fatally run down in a breeding pen by three year-...
Read full storyConversation between an Evangelical Bible Belting Schmuck and a Neuroscientist
Idiot: "God created the brain in seven days y'all!" Neuroscientist: "Y'all are a schmuck!" 1. The keys to modern biology were not delivered by genome sequencing, but by a series of prior conceptual advances (Darwin, Mendel, Fisher, Morgan, Crick etc). 2. Tracing wires in 3 dimensions to learn how neurons are connected is overkill: like genome sequencing by X-ray crystallography. Almost al...
Read full storyNew Laws for France. The NWO Marches On. Who's Next?
Following the Hebdo massacre new Private Law (criminal law) legislation is expected to be introduced in the French Parliament. Following the 'executive laws' adopted by Obama, Prime Minister Manuel Valls who was appointed by President Francois Ho...
Read full storyHell Posts Temporary "No Vacancy" Sign After Hebdo Killers Show Up Today
HELL - The Devil is complaining that Hell is getting too full of Islamic terrorists who insist on killing innocent people that don't share their same worldview. He hung up a temporary "No Vacancy" sign outside the entrance after accepting the sou...
Read full storyTLDC - The Learning Disabled Channel (formerly TLC) Announces "Death Swap"
"This will be the highest rated show in the history of Reality TV -Bigger than Idol" - Exclaimed Morton Schlocker, president of TLDC TV. He elaborated: "Deserving prisoners about to be executed will be replaced -in a supreme act of Christian chari...
Read full storyHuman's Early Warning Asshole Detectors Rule Out Another Romney Try
Mitt Romney reminded me of how genetically sensitive most of us are in detecting "An Asshole". Darwin probably would have said it was a critical part of the natural selection process and connected to our most basic human reproduction drives. I mea...
Read full storyNorth Koreans Offer To Cook Bo For Obama
Ill Jong Cock - North Korea's demented ruler has offered the services of his palace chefs to turn the Obamas new puppy BO into a North Korean specialty - Baked and Pickled Portuguese Water Dog with sauteed Siberian Tiger balls as a peace offering.
Read full storyISIS the Musical Bombs at Box Office
In an attempt to soften the image of the infamous terror group, ISIS has formed a theatre group.They refer to themselves as "The Musical Jihadists" and wish to prove to the world at large that they truly are lovers of the arts and theatre and that th...
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