Isle Of Wight News - Seized "Centrifuges" Not indicative Of Nuclear Capability
"Centrifuges" siezed by customs officers on the Isle of Wight ferry were discovered to be old fashioned washing machines bound for the HMP Isle of Wight prisons it was claimed this morning. The Hotpoint Super-Swirl twin tub machines were thought...
Read full story75 year-old regular drinker 'vanishes' as guerilla demolition razes historic London pub
London - North London's Jamaican community is gobsmacked after a patron of some 40 years at a North London boozer was declared missing - presumed pissed - when a hysteric pub in Kilburn was suddenly demolished without permission this morning. Jere...
Read full storyCharles and Camilla Mark 10th Aniversary With A Good Old Fashioned Wank
LONDON - The heir to the British throne and his consort, Camilla, are celebrating 10 years of marriage -- a decade in which Camilla's public image has gone from aristocratic home-wrecker to admired addition to the royal family. Prince Charles...
Read full storyObama calls Dick Cheney 'worst Vice President ever'
WASHINGTON, DC - President Obama called Dick Cheney the 'worst Vice President ever', after former Vice President Dick Cheney said that President Barack Obama is the worst commander in chief the United States has ever had. The former vice presiden...
Read full story10 Most Common Reasons for Divorce
In a survey conducted in twenty American prisons concerning the relationship between crime and marriage break-up, it was concluded that one of the main problems in relationships was language. Communication problems all devolved to the contrary understanding of the meaning of words. The comprehension of words however was mediated by false beliefs and values that were inherently pernicious or i...
Read full storyScottish Labour Leader Jim Murphy's head size preventing him from leading normal life
Jim Murphy, leader of the Scottish Labour Party, has admitted struggling with enlarged head syndrome which kicked in as a teenager and worsened as he got older. Jim's head accounts for 30% of his entire body weight and that it's becoming harder to st...
Read full storyTory Party to lose election after Angel from Heaven tells poverty stricken single mum not to worry
A single mother, struggling to get by on the two low paid jobs , says she has was visited by an Angel the other night. The mother who has being trying to scrape money together to buy herself shoes but put her kids first, says the Angel has assured he...
Read full storyCanada Starts National Cuss-Jar To Stop Saying, "Eh!"
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada (The Country North of here. (North being the big "N" on your phone when you hit the compass setting thingy.)) - Canada's Finance Ministers and Economists have unanimously agreed for years now that the number one barrier to gre...
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