Get It While You Can: Burt Reynolds Sells Himself (Cheap!)
HOLLYWEIRD, CALIFORNICATE - Has-been "actor" Burt Reynolds, who has lived beyond his means for many years, is offering over 600 "personal items" to the highest bidder at an auction at the Palms Casino Resort in Sin City (a. k. a. "Las Vegas"). The...
Read full storyArizona School Board May Burn Science Books
GILBERT, Ariz. - A biology textbook, widely used in the state, has come under attack by a suburban school board in Gilbert. The school board has voted to exise or redact two pages in the book -544 and 545 -because they discuss sexually transmitted d...
Read full story$3m Wizard Of Oz 'Cowardly Lyin' Costume For Obama Xmas Present
New York - Last worn by Bert Lahr in the 1939 movie classic The Wizard Of Oz the big cat outfit was bought today for $3m as a seasonal gift. Sources close to the auctioneer's gavel said the buyer is believed to be the charitable arm of the Associ...
Read full storyConspiracy Theories Mostly True - New Investigation
Almost all conspiracy theories have turned out to be true, according to an investigation commissioned to find out the truth about what everyone is really pretending to do. The report, secretly published as an apparent maintenance tender form for the...
Read full story"Bronte" Novel Written By Ghost Writer Shock
The new best selling novel, Wuthering Highs II by Emilia Bronte, of Wuthering Highs fame has been found by a forensic journalist to be a clever fake and has probably been written after her death by a "Ghost Writer" lurking in a cemetery it was revea...
Read full storyFeel Free to Do Something Disgusting While I'm Eating
I was eating in a Chinese restaurant. All but two tables were empty, but I had the good luck to be next to a large older man who was talking to an old woman, who was on her way out. She asked how he was doing these days; a usual, casual sort of quest...
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