Chuck Hagel out on his ass as Thanksgiving begins early for some
Washington - The mediocre GOP whinger has been relieved of duties for a series of blunders about a Middle Eastern decapitation cult. Chuck 'Hey Girl, Don't Bother Me' Hagel is stepping down as Defense Secretary for not nuking the shit out of Isla...
Read full storyLewis Hamilton has fastest designer beard on the planet!
Newly crowned F1 world champion Brit, Lewis Hamilton, has also been crowned the prettiest champion ever apart from Scot, Jackie Stewart, whose red hair tickled the lassies fancies whilst blowing in the wind and kilt bearing a fine pair of ginger knoc...
Read full storyWalMart to Have Big Sale to Feed Employees for the Holidays
Bentonville, AR-In a surge of holiday spirit, Walmart announced it would give employees big discounts on their food purchases so as to be able to stock up for the holidays. Rice and beans are two of the commodities that will be discounted. "We...
Read full storyQueen to Debut New Cooking Show on BBC
London, UK-Buckingham Palace announced today that Queen Elizabeth will fulfill a lifelong dream of hers and debut a cooking show on the BBC this Thursday. "My mother the former Queen always said I wasn't good enough to have my own cooking show. T...
Read full storyBig 10 College Football League to Add 12 More Teams
Indianapolis, IN-The NCAA discussed the Big 10's request to add 12 more teams to the Big 10. With 14 teams presently in the Big 10, this would bring the total up to 26. "We long ago stopped having anywhere near ten teams, so as long as we are expa...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - International Fungus Awards - Winner Best Fungus 2014 - Best Toadstool - Other Fungi
The Fungus Awards is an annual European awards ceremony honouring fungus related achievements in the mould and putrefaction industry. Winners are awarded the coveted golden mushroom statuette. The awards, first presented in 1929 at the Grand Hotel Bu...
Read full storyVets Find Miracle Cure For Internet Worms
In another U.K. "first" The British Association for Parasitic Worm Development has discovered that internet worms can be permanently eliminated by a single treatment of dog wormer medicine. The computers will have to be treated by qualified veter...
Read full storyRepublicans Mull Over Ways to Get Revenge on Obama for Immigration Actions
Washington, DC The Republicans emerged last night from an all-night strategy meeting, bloodied and bruised. Many of the members were being chastised by Speaker John Boehner as they walked out for allowing Obama to get the better of them. Some...
Read full storyObama Seems Loaded At Press Conference
Associated Press- Hydraulic fracturing or "fracking" is the process of drilling and injecting dangerous fluid into the ground at high pressure in order to fracture shale rocks to release natural gas inside. President Obama has said that natural ga...
Read full storyCreationist Breakthrough: Actually, the World is Really, Really Old!
The booming pseudoscience industry in the USA has recently got a huge boost, as one Young-Earth "Creation Science" Institute has made an earth-shaking and absolutely unprecedented breakthrough. Yes: apparently, contrary to previous, less empirica...
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