Isle of Wight News - Island Too Long. E.U. To Shorten It By 3.45 Km.
The Isle of Wight has fallen foul of E.U. regulations by being above the mandatory 65 mile maximum length for a British Isle. The Isle, famous for its Rock Festivals and sequence dancing has steadfastly refused to lop 2 miles from its length, even th...
Read full story'IS beheading jihadis suspected' as banker found RIP with throat slit at $1m NYC apartment
New York - Wild rumors are sweeping Manhattan that a Slittygroup - uh, CitiGroup! - banker found dead in the bathtub with his throat slit 'may have been topped by beheading jihadis'. The 30-something specialist in environmental and social risk m...
Read full storyThe Secret England Footballer's Diary: Euro 2016 and Scotland
Bench warmer. Fringe player. That's what the papers have been calling me ever since the debacle of our World Cup misadventure and I've got to admit it's true. Roy hasn't even had me in the squad for the matches against the Swiss cheese makers and th...
Read full storySouth Carolina AG: Marriage Should Be Between A Man And Pre-Teen Bride Of Choice
CHARLESTON, S.C. - A judge issued the first gay marriage licenses in South Carolina on Wednesday, even as the state attorney general asked the U.S. Supreme Court to step in and block the action by defining marriage as the legally recognized union...
Read full storyDavid Cameron 'more psychologically floored than Gorgon Brown' say WHO shrinks
Geneva, Switzerland - A panel of eminent doctors at the World Head Organization has issued a damning report about the British PM. Four years of intensive screwtiny have produced a psychological profile of David Cameron that describes him as a shit...
Read full storyWhat The Buck?!? The Root Of All Evildoers, As Otherwise Added Up Accordingly Before Being Even More Unofficially Rearranged (Keep The Change)
AMMANBEINGAMMAN, Jordan - Sure, according to a significant amount of strategic unnamed sources (typically those without any sort of sufficiently accumulated sooner or later go-to funds, hopefully designated for any and all doomsday styled rainy days hell bent on impolitely presenting themselves, via whichever suddenly well past-due timeframe quickly proves to be dramatically necessary, and/or, ju...
Read full storyIsle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked
The new flagship £5000 Isle of Wight Bembridge airport terminal is to be named T.8 in an official ceremony tomorrow according to leaked documents. The product of ten years of planning, expensive ground breaking engineering achievements and dogged det...
Read full storyBob Geldof has his passport confiscated by British government - at request of people of Africa
Self-righteous tax-dodger (alleged) and one-time musician Bob Geldof has announced that he will be challenging a decision by the Home Secretary to take sway his passport and prevent him from travelling to Africa to promote his new (-ish) song "Do the...
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